So this is life?

Don't get me wrong-- I am thrilled that I graduated college with two degrees and one certificate from UW-Madison. I can't even count the number of times I wanted to drop out and actually almost printed the withdrawal forms. College kicked my ass, but it is nothing like the real world (at least this is what I am slowly learning in the weeks following graduation).

My parents have prepared me far better for life post-graduation than college. Never once in college did anyone tell me about renter's insurance, applying for jobs for which I am over-qualified for, the necessity in learning to cook, or the month-long depression/hibernation that follows college graduation. Nope, none of it. Instead, I have spent the three weeks following my graduation trying to figure it all out by myself without losing my sanity.

There really should be a place that you can go and access the mess of information necessary to function as a new "adult." There also should be a place where you can go and vent, ponder, and cry about the craziness that has now become your life. Hence, the recreation of my blog! So please comment and share your own experiences!

So time for today's discussion: Packing without actually having somewhere to move.

My lease is up on June 30, so logically, I need to find a new place to move into in the new city I am moving to before June 30. Well, I have been apartment hunting and found an apartment that is within my budget, meets the minimum requirements I have for a place to live, and is in the city I am moving to. Issue? I don't have a job with a "verifiable" income. I do own my own business, but I am still growing it to a point where I am making enough income to live-on. So, now comes to story about getting jerked around...

As I neared graduation, I was working to grow my business, but had two (what I thought) back-up jobs in mind. The first would be returning to the company I temped/interned at for three summers and the second was getting placed through the temp agency I worked for three summers. Long-story short, I applied for a job I knew I was not really qualified for at the first company (after being urged to by three+ employees of the company), only to be told by their HR department that I was not qualified and that they wanted someone with experience. They said I could put in for an entry-level job that requires a high school diploma and involves doing work that I, at this time, do not understand. Fine, I applied. I then went to my back-up plan at the temp agency and was told by my contact that she would see where they could place me. Three days went by. I called back to talk to her and was told that she was on vacation for a week-- good thing she mentioned this before leaving... NOT! Anyway, the guy who answered checked the status of my file and said they had no clerical openings. Fabulous.

This double-blow of insanity led to me calling six more temp agencies in my area looking for placements. Five said they did not have any clerical openings and one (who I had a negative experience with several years ago), offered a slight glimmer of hope. They took my new resume and had me complete several assessment tests online and will be following up with me this week. FINGERS CROSSED! I plan on calling them on Monday to see if they received my assessments and see if they can meet with me on Monday to place me... PLEASE LET THIS WORK! If they are able to place me, I can go back to the apartment I want and submit my application! The lady who manages the property said they would have the apartment I want available by the end of this week, WHICH MEANS I may be able to start moving this week! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

Realizing there was nothing I could do this weekend to speed up this process, I began packing.  My logic?  If I am packed, I can begin moving IMMEDIATELY into my new apartment.  Minimum, I will be moving even more stuff to my already crowded room at my parents' house pending my move to my new apartment.  Creative procrastination?  Maybe.  Sanity protection?  Oh yeah!

Other noteworthy news: the twitch in my left eyebrow has come back this morning.  Welcome back my tell-tale sign of stress!

Road Work Ahead

John (my boyfriend) and I are driving to his hometown to move him back for the summer. The air conditioner in my car is out and it is about 90 degrees outside today. As part of the deal for me to help him move, he's driving so I get some time to hang out and play on my CrackBerry.

Let's be clear: I am not really that much of a tech geek, so the number of gadgets I have acquired these past couples weeks blows my mind! For graduation my parents got me a Flip camera and a TomTom GPS. Later that week I had to get my own phone plan, so I opted for a BlackBerry to aid me in developing my business. I can now take pics on my phone and email, text, or post them on Facebook. It is insane! My Flip camera inspired to make my own cooking show for the cooking challenged (like myself!). And my GPS helps me actually arrive on time to meetings and events. Amazing!

The down side of all of this is that I think I am getting addicted! Just like when I was 12 and started playing the Sims! I am trying to keep my addiction one that is helpful not harmful, but I'm sure my Facebook friends are growing tired of my Mobile Uploads album! (But that won't stop me from posting!)

Well I should stop staring this little screen and talk to John as he drives us 65 MPH with the windows down!

:) Chynna

Cleaning out the Closet

So after about two months in this apartment, I am getting ready to move again. Moving is one of my least favorite things and my most favorite things, simultaneously. I hate it for the obvious reasons: having to pack everything I own into boxes, then haul those boxes to my car, creatively stuff my car, then haul the boxes to a new apartment, and unpack everything I own.

I love moving because it gives me a chance to embrace my organizing dorkiness as I sort through everything. Though I am still finalizing where I am moving, the Moving Craze began today. I have done five loads of laundry and gone through all of my clothes.

This brings me to the point of this post: I have definitely gained weight over the four years I attended college. My pants span four sizes and my tops cover the range of women's, junior's, and even kid's clothes!

At some point, I think it was during my third year of school, I became very self-conscious of this weight gain, so I started trying to dress in order to disguise it. This would explain the variety of tops I own that could pass as maternity clothes! You know the type: gathers just under your breasts and has a free-flowing tummy portion that is very easily hiding a baby bump up until you're six months along. I had about 8 of these shirts. I wore maybe two of them and put the other five on in the morning, only to take them off for making me look pregnant. Hmm, go figure!

My "maternity" tops went in the giveaway bag, along with 11 pairs of blue jeans of various sizes. The best part of gaining weight pretty quickly and not being able to find clothes is that everything you give away is only gently used (if used at all)! :) Now my closet is less crowded and I have a couple bags of clothes to donate. Good day all around!

Now back to sorting through my belongings, then folding laundry (ick!) and doing dishes. I will be packed in no time! Just need to figure out where I am moving...

:) Chynna

Vote for Smile Empty Soul!

I love Smile Empty Soul and have been a huge fan of their's for years! Please vote for them and help them win artist of the year! Vote through this link because I am trying to win a trip to Vegas to meet them! lol :)

Welcome to the Rat Race...

So I officially graduated yesterday! You can see the pic below of me and my bestie! :)

It was pretty amazing! I am happy to be done with school and finally able to get on with my life!

As a graduation gift, my parents got me a Flip camera, so I will be posting plenty of videos in the coming weeks that document my new adventures.

But the most poignant moment yesterday came while my family and I were eating at Cracker Barrel. Toward the end of the meal, the waitress came up to me and said "Welcome to the Rat Race!" I let it roll off me at the time, but I have been thinking about it all day.

In the shower this morning it all finally sunk in. I am done with school. I have graduated college. I am an adult. I am on my own. I need money (lol). I drew many lines in the sand these past few months as I proclaimed, "I will not do that!" Today I suddenly felt prepared to let go of my silly boundaries (I will obviously keep the legit boundaries) and start living as an adult.

I am in charge of my own life and where I am heading, which is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time.

I am now officially a part of the rat race, but as the waitress concluded her comment, "There are some bad parts, but there is mostly good. You'll be fine!"

:) Chynna

I'm going to learn how to cook!

So, true confession: I can't cook...

I try to cook, but usually end up just reheating some frozen meal. My signature dish is meatball subs, but that really is reheating frozen meatballs and spaghetti sauce, then putting it all on a sub topped with mozzarella cheese. I try to make a couple casseroles, but they are never as good as my mom's.

Anyway, I am going to learn to cook. I bought Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution cookbook and am committed using it to teach myself how to cook.

I chose Jamie's book because I was impressed by his ABC television show about the Food Revolution and also by the book's description:

Cooking good food from scratch is a skill that can save you money, keep you healthy, and make you and your family and friends happy. What I've tried to do in this book is pick a whole load of meals that we all love to eat and break them down to make them as simple as possible. There are plenty of clear instructions and step-by-step pictures, so whether you're an accomplished cook or a complete beginner, you'll be able to enjoy cooking and achieve great results in the kitchen.

This book is inspired by all the people I've met who thought they could never and would never learn how to cook. I believe that good home cooking is one of the most essential, fundamental skills that every single person on this planet should have in order to look after themselves, their families, and their friends. This food revolution is all about people learning how to make a recipe, then teaching that recipe to their friends and family . . . if enough people do this, pretty soon everyone will be cooking. So cook something today, then PASS IT ON!

I went grocery shopping today to get the ball rolling and two hours later I returned home with *almost* all of my ingredients to make:
-Classic Tomato Spaghetti
-Broccoli and Pesto Tagliatelle
-Macaroni and Cauliflower Cheese Bake
-Crunchy Garlic Chicken

I still need to get a red chile and dried tagliatelle. Does anyone know where you get dried tagliatelle? I looked at Woodman's and couldn't find it.

I am very excited about this new adventure and appreciate of the brave souls (mostly my boyfriend) who will be testing my food. When possible, I will post pictures of the adventure. I will also post a review of each dish and maybe a review by anyone else who tried what I made.

Any recommendations for other recipes I should try?

:) Chynna

Let's Get this Show on the Road!

So, after four long, grueling, crazy years, I am graduating May 16! Thursday, May 6 is my last day of classes and I am hoping to have ALL my papers and finals turned in at that point. I will then be D-O-N-E with college (probably forever). I can't wait!

I had a few days where I freaked out about the future and what comes next, but I realized that I just need to embrace the craziness that is ahead and enjoy the journey through it all. I still don't have an apartment lined up to move into after my lease is up June 30. I have a conference I am speaking at in June that I haven't registered for or bought plane tickets for (nor am I really sure what I am saying yet). And there's a thousand other things going on that need my attention, my money, or my time. I refuse to feel overwhelmed because I know that, one way or another, it's all going to come together.

I am ready to start living my "real" life! But before that can happen, I have seven papers totaling about 46 pages to write by Thursday.

I will post more when it's all done!

:) Chynna

Working Class Kid Goes to College!

Hey everyone!

So today I want to attempt to tackle the HUGE topic that has been lingering in front of me for months! What does it mean to be working class and a college student? To put a finer point on it, what does it means to be working class and a college student at an ELITE, FOUR-YEAR university? I will by no means fully unpack this topic in this post, but its time that I start writing about it. With 59 days until I graduate with a Bachelors of Arts from the University of Wisconsin-Madison, I feel ready to start talking about the past four years. This post will be my general thoughts on what it means to be working class at a college like mine, particularly discussing some of the challenges we face.

I first want to repost a portion of a post that is from my personal blog/journal. It was written in January 2009.

Life at UW-Madison is like living with a permanent suspension of disbelief--I know it is not this way for everyone, but it is for me and others like me. While around campus with my best friend, she will often look at me and say, "Are we in the Twilight Zone right now?" We laugh and share in our inside joke, one only working-class, small town, first-generation college students like us understand.

College is when people like me straddle two worlds, then life after graduation is where we live in limbo--dwelling between two worlds, never at home in either. While in college, we must choose whether to lose ourselves, to sell-out, to become like the elite students around us; or we must fight to remain true to our roots, to not lose our cultural identity, to leave with the same soul as when we entered. If we choose the latter, we must learn how to survive in an inhospitable land that actively works to destroy us. We are slowly mastering this process:

1. Master smiling. A smile is ambiguous, no one really knows what is going on behind. Learn to smile through your tears, your anger, your fear, and your shame. Learn to smile in the face of ignorance and hatred.
   
2. Bite your tongue. When you are the only person in your class who is poor class, working class, from a small town, a first generation college student, etc., you will not win a verbal exchange because no one, including your professors and TAs, will understand what you are saying. For this reason, you must learn to bite your tongue. Bite it even if it hurts. Bite it even if it bleeds. You can speak your mind, but you must do it with your peers, which is partially why I founded the Working Class Student Union.
3. Learn to pass. Study the rich elites--their words, their mannerisms, their clothing, their humor (or lack thereof), and their interests. After studying these people, pick parts of their behavior to mimic when appropriate. Mimicking clothing is one of the best and easiest things to do. For this, be sure to shop at second hand stores, especially Goodwill. Working class/poor class stores (i.e. Wal-Mart) are catching up to current styles, but at much more affordable prices. Another factor on our side is the fact that the rich elites, particularly those who are politically active, think its cool to dress like they are "poor" and usually they do an awful, stereotypical, offensive job of this. Their bizarre style and ridiculous way of doing it, often makes us appear to be of a higher class than them because we dress in the cheaper versions of current style. Manner of speaking is also huge, but it warrants its own blog post (which is forthcoming).
4. Make Connections! This is the key to our survival--if no one knows who you are, they will not notice when the UW squeezes you out! Connect with (IF YOU ARE COMFORTABLE) with your professors, TAs, classmates, student organizations, administrators, ASM leadership, and anyone and everyone else you can find! Good ways to this are to join student organizations, get appointed through ASM to Shared Governance seats on UW committees, and seek internal UW jobs. Additionally, join the Working Class Student Union because if you get squeezed out, I guarantee I will notice and I will ask why!

This list could be longer, but I will spare you all the nuances now and will post them at a later time. I will wrap this long post up now, but more posts will follow.

Fourteen months later, I still stand by these words. The best way to summarize my behavior these for years is that I survived my college experience. In some regards, I thrived (regarding skill development through my student orgs) and failed (regarding some of my academic course work). All in all, I survived. I completed my degrees in four years and will get the prestigious piece of paper and a chance to take a 30-second stroll across the stage. I know it was worth it, but I still am concerned about what the cost was of doing so.

I know my mental and emotional health has been impacted, due partially to the high levels of stress that come from balancing multiple jobs and classes; and partially to spending four years in an economic minority as a cultural outsider at an institution that rarely acknowledged I existed.

I know that my relationship with my family has changed as I become the first person in my family receive a four-year degree immediately out of high school. I speak differently and have to consciously "turn-on" my college voice or my Beloit voice. I have to work constantly to behave in the manner in which my college education has taught me--taking the role as "researcher" versus participant, always analyzing those around me, and working to change the behavior of the "uninformed."

I honestly fear this change. Despite my best efforts, I know that I have changed. But how much? How will this change impact my relationships with my family and community? How will this change impact how I raise my children? Has Chynna really changed or just the way she thinks sometimes? I know that I will slowly realize the answers to this question, especially when I leave the Ivory Tower and return to my hometown in May. I will be a straddler in limbo between my working class roots and middle class education. I just hope that I can renegotiate my identity and role in my family and community. Living in limbo is unsettling and I hope that find a way to do it on my own terms.

Like I said, this is the first of many posts on this subject. Please comment with your thoughts and experiences.

Thanks!
Chynna

Money, Money, Money!

Hey everyone!

Not sure why I love repetition in my post titles, but I do! Today I wanted to share a few links to some fabulous financial resources! I think almost everyone in the world (at least my world) is at least a little stressed about money. I am working on my own financial freedom, so these have been great sources of information for me!

Check out this resources and let me know what you think!

• Dave Ramsey-- I love this guy's no nonsense approach to money! My parents are on his finance plan and are now debt-free except for their house. He can really help you better manage your money by getting on a spending plan and working on the debt snowball.
• DailyWorth-- This is a great resource for women trying to manage their finances! You can actually get on their email list and receive a daily email with a few tips about managing your money. They provide very simple and doable suggestions.
• Bundle-- I just discovered this site, but so far it seems pretty cool. You can actually use it to see how much other people spend on items (based on credit card expenditures). Plus, it has pretty funny (sorta) confessions of people's bad money habits.

Be sure to check this out and let me know what you think!

What am I doing today to work towards financial freedom? I packed my lunch and snacks from the day with food from my fridge versus buying food from the food court!

Thanks!
:) Chynna

Rain, Rain, Go Away, Come Again Another Day

Hey everyone!

Yep, once again I went a ridiculously long time without updating you (and by "you" I mean the maybe two people who read this! haha)! I had on my To Do List for months to write a blog post, but every time I sat down to write I was hit with writer's block. These past few weeks have been some of the most challenging weeks of my undergraduate career. Hell, who am I kidding? These past four years have been the most challenging of my undergraduate career! Isolating a few weeks is just silly! That being said, I have spent a lot of time trying to unpack what has been going on, how I feel, what the experience is really like, and what it all really means. I certainly do not have all the answers, but I am making progress.

I have a series of blog posts that will be coming over the next couple weeks that represent my small attempt at making sense of all of it. I have 66 days until graduation. These next 66 days will be my attempt to share the insight I am slowly gaining, as well as record the shenanigans as they actually go down. After that, I will keep writing about the world of limbo that faces working class students after they graduate, especially when they return to their working class communities, as this will be my experience. I will also write about the moments that took place during the 1,461 days I was a UW-Madison student--hopefully with more clarity and sense of purpose than I had while living them.

I feel like its going to be an 66 days until I graduate and an even more exciting several months that will follow. Please read. Please comment. And, if something I say speaks to you, please share it with your friends.

Thanks!
Chynna